I grew up in the 1980’s, a big screen actor and producer’s son. There were no rules, no boundaries. Everyone around me acted like they were going to live forever. But that was probably due to all the cocaine that flowed in on the daily breeze. Sure, from the outside everything looked like a lot of fun.And I won’t lie, it certainly was a lot of fun. But after a certain point the fun stopped and a dark world took its place. The blow began to take hold on pretty much everyone I knew. Very successful people in the industry, who had the world in the palm of their hands, now had a coke addiction in the core of their beings. No one knew it would happen. It always started out innocently enough. Just try a little at someone’s house and have a good time. Pretty soon parties would be fueled by coke. Everyone thought that they were immune or not doing coke enough to become addicted. They told themselves that one bump in the morning to get going was normal and o.k. And then another one at lunch. And maybe a few in between meetings. But before anyone knew, it would be evening, and that’s the time to party so… And in the 80’s it basically was normal, but never o.k.

Seeing cocaine addictions around me became commonplace. Everyone I knew, including my parents, were going nuts on the white stuff. Here I am, living the dream. The life that everyone envies. The life of a star… surrounded by a nightmare.

Cocaine addictions, and by that I mean real life coke addictions, are not in any way shape or form glamorous. In fact they are downright ugly. I watched my own father, who was a big time producer, go from a successful and happy mogul to a depressed, maniacal, and nearly homeless cocaine addict. He was young and good looking. His cocaine addiction quickly broke him apart and made him look aweful. After a couple straight years of hard usage, he began losing big movie deals that eventually cost him and us, his family, everything we had. His losses drove him even harder into his addiction to coke and drove the rest of us out of a home. Not to mention the spotlight.

Luckily my father had real friends who cared about him. One of his school friends who he grew up with, who happened to be a contractor, convinced my parents to go on a little “vacation” with him to Florida. Meanwhile I stayed with my grandparents in Colorado. They came back six months later, fresh out of rehab, looking healthy and renewed. My dad secured a new movie deal right off the bat and we were back on track.

I learned a hard lesson, that cocaine is not something to be messing with. Addictions to cocaine come on subtly and strong and don’t let go of you without a fight. My family has to endure a lot of pressure from many different sources. And now that coke is thankfully out of the picture, we are able to handle the pressure with an easy stride. Now that I’m a grown up and stepped into my father’s professional shoes, he’s been able to take time off a little more often. I look at him with sad admiration as I see a man who got old and torn down before his time, but won a hard battle that others we know have fought and lost.